Asking Questions. A STORY FOR MOST PEOPLE

[The following is an excerpt from The Manufacturer and Builder Volume 0001 Issue 1 (January 1869).  I came across this in my woodworking research, and want to preserve it here because its centrally relevant across all of the domains I'm interested in.]

Once there was a young man whose name was John.  That is to say, not knowing what his name was, and taking all the chances.  I think it was probably John.  For the same reason I take the liberty of presuming that his other name was Smith.  Having previously been a boy, like the generality of young men. John had learned during that period an art which was almost the only thing that distinguished him from other Johns.  He knew how to ask questions; and the object of this brief sketch of his life is to show how he acquired this accomplishment, and what came of it.

He used to say that his father, who was a farmer gave him the first lessons in asking questions; and putting together what his father told him at different times, he compiled a set of rules on the subject which he showed to a Friend the other day, neatly written on the flyleaves of his pocket-diary.  They were headed,

The Art of Asking Questions

1. Every man knows something that I do not know.
2. Every thing, living or inanimate, has something to tell me that I do not know.
3. It is better to ask questions of things than of men; but its better to ask men than not to ask at all.
4. Lazy questions, impertinent questions, and conceited questions are the greatest of nuisances.  They are like conundrums without any answers - they tend to make men dislike all questions; and when asked of nature, they get no response from her whatever.
5. Asking questions is of no use, if a man forgets the replies.
6. People like to be asked, in the proper time and manner, concerning matters which they understand.  When they refuse to satisfy such inquiries, it is generally because the matter is not their business, or they think it is none of mine.
7. Remembering a thing is not necessarily be living it.  I will remember whatever is told to me by men or by nature ; but I will bear in mind that men may be mistaken, or that I myself may misunderstand both words and facts.
8. The way to remember the answer to any question is to associate it in the mind with other answers connected with the same subject.  It is well, therefore, to follow one subject, if possible, until sufficient has been learned about it to be easily remembered; for the more one knows the more one can remember, while isolated facts soon get lost.  As my father said, "Wholesale stores are the easiest to keep in order."
9. Never be ashamed not to know, but be ashamed not to learn.
10. Never pretend to know ; as for pretending to be ignorant, there is no danger of that, since all men are ignorant.  Even in asking questions concerning the subjects which I have most carefully studied, I may truly say I desire to learn ; for I may have made mistakes or omissions in my study which another might correct.  As my father said, "Judge Pickerell spent forty years in collecting coins, and found at last a coin that was not in his collection in the hands of a beggar, who had that and nothing else."
11. As my father said, "Every stone is a diamond unless it is not; therefore every stone may be a diamond, until you know it is not ; and in finding out that it is not a diamond, you may discover that it is something more useful."
12. As my father said, "A man who is forever asking and never answering is like the swamp in our forty-acre lot.  You can't raise crops without rain on one hand and drainage on the other."

From the foregoing it will be seen that the elder Smith was a man of sense. Certainly his neighbors thought the same thing.  Frequently the judge or the parson or the doctor would come riding by his farm, and the plain farmer would leave his plow and sit upon the rail fence, under the shadow of the great elm, whittling a stick, while they talked with him on various matters of politics or social management.  It was noticeable that he seldom asked other people for their opinions, and they soon learned to be a little shy of offering any; for he was sure to reply, "Indeed, what makes you think so?" and that is a troublesome way of putting it. On the other hand, they were always anxious to get his opinions in exchange for their facts.  As the judge remarked, "Farmer Smith's views are his own, and they are worth hearing.  He doesn't think he is obliged to say something on every subject, whether he understands it or not; and when he does speak, he tells what he knows."

He was always particular to give the source of his knowledge.  He would say, "I have observed," or "I have read" or "As far as I can judge, it seems to me," and the like.  And when others contradicted him, he used to say, "I am very glad to hear your experience on that point, because it is different from mine. I will make note of that."  After he died, they found among his papers a good many notes of this kind with the names of those who had given the information, and marked in the margin with different signs, indicated, according to a method of his own, which he never told any body, the degree of reliance which he thought was to be placed in the authors or their communications.

It must not be supposed that he gave his son John the above set of rules all at once, like a catechism.  On the contrary, as I before hinted, he dropped them in the form of remarks, from time to time on appropriate occasions.  On some of these occasions I shall give examples in the next chapter.  It may be thought that I am writing the life of the wrong Smith. In fact the father and not the son would be my hero, but for the fact that John's greater opportunities, and advantages enabled him to make a more brilliant career outwardly; and the full fruit of the old man's system, as well as the reward for his patience and a good sense, was realized in the success of his son.  After all, however, if health and virtue and good nature and a well-trained mind be success, then old Smith achieved it.